Want to hear the easiest way to clear up your calendar, your stress, and your risk? How to improve your work and life? It’s simple! Say “no.”
Now, it is simple to suggest that, but we all know it isn’t as easy to do. But I have found it to be easier if I prove to my Agriculture Economics college professor that I was, in fact, listening in class. I remember that opportunity costs are real. “Opportunity cost is the value of the next-best alternative when a decision is made; it’s what is given up,” explains Andrea Caceres-Santamaria, senior economic education specialist at the St. Louis Fed, in Page One Economics: Money and Missed Opportunities.
Or as I think about it, if I say “yes” to something, I, by definition, am saying “no” to other things. Try as I might, I can’t actually do two things at once. Some things will not and cannot get done. And those things that aren’t being done have value. And sometimes great value. Whenever I say “yes” to something, I am forgoing the value of the other things that I can no longer say “yes” to. I’ve already committed my time, effort, money, and motivation to something else.
The trick is to recognize the value of each option, each opportunity, measure the value of each, and choose. When I do that, often it becomes a whole lot easier to say “No, thank you” with ease and finality. “No, thank you. That committee means that I won’t have time to meet with my mastermind group.” I am probably thinking (but not saying out loud), “Because I derive a whole lot of value from that group, and your committee’s first order of business is to complain about the other committees and fight about when the next meeting is.”
Whatever it is, I look at what I would be giving up and compare it to what I’d be getting. Sometimes it is worth it. “’Yes, I’d love to have a monthly salon because I need to have adult conversations that are not about work’ is more valuable than the current TV show binge that encompasses Thursdays at 8:00 pm.” I’d say that whole thing out loud. Everyone likes to know they have value. Don’t be afraid to let them know it.
Perhaps it is: “I’d love to help you, but that is not my area of knowledge.” Again, in my head, “Wow, I really like this person, but I’d be sick to my stomach if I messed this up. And I have a high probability of messing this up because I know jack squat about it.” This is extra fun because it means you value them AND you. The best way to help is to allow them to get them better help. Don’t be afraid to share that, too.
So gather up that elementary school energy and say it with me. Just say no.