This is the second part of my series – When Should I Hire a Divorce Attorney.

Infidelity is absolutely a time when you want to hire a divorce attorney. A divorce attorney will remain detached from emotions and will help you with your children and finances.

There is something seriously wrong in your marriage, if one or both spouses are cheating. Infidelity, cheating, whatever you want to call it, is a violation of trust. When you violate trust, you lose credibility.  That has a great impact on the marriage and a spouse’s ability to think clearly. The breakdown of trust is such a big deal. If you cannot trust your spouse to love and respect you, then how can you trust your spouse in other matters of life, such as with your finances and children? This is when you need an attorney to help you make wise decisions that will impact your future with your family and your finances.

With cheating, forever, there will be feelings of suspicion, remorse, anger, hate, love, forgiveness, and more. Spouses will blame each other and all of this will fester and compound. Whether you are the victim or the cheater, one of you, or both of you, decided not to care enough about the marriage. When someone does not care to the point that there is infidelity, it is simply time to move on and file for divorce.

You may not be able to change your spouse, but you can change yourself. You can change the way you react to the way someone treats you. Divorce is a way to change how you react to what your spouse does to you. You want to cheat? Fine, that is on you. But I am not going to wait for you to decide to respect and love me. You had a chance and I am moving on. You have one life. Would you rather live it happily or in sadness?

You have to start believing that you are a co-creator in this wonderful life that has been offered to you. You make the decisions and you take action. You can design your life and how you wish it to be. Why are you waiting around for someone else to plan it for you? I can guarantee to you that your cheating spouse was not planning a wonderful life for you when he or she cheated. It is really the exact opposite. That person did not care whatsoever. The decision to stop caring was made long ago, and not just in the moment that the spouse cheated. Take control of your life and your plans. File for divorce and work with an attorney to start designing your future. Focus on your children and finances. Let the attorney help you through the untangling of your life, in order to put it back together to march forward.

If you are the person that cheated, divorce attorneys work with you too. Maybe cheating was not the best way to exit your marriage, but now that it has occurred, we must deal with its impact. Wisconsin is a no fault divorce state. This means that infidelity cannot be used against you to punish you. Many people have the incorrect belief that because they cheated that they are deserving of less. We will work with you to talk about how the marital estate and your right to custody of your children will be affected.

As a bottom line, please remember that your choices will have some impact on the divorce proceedings, but more than likely it is an emotional impact. You cannot let the emotional impact cloud your understanding of the law and what is entitled to you. You must determine to move on. Confront the challenges ahead of you.

You need an attorney because the attorney is detached from all the emotion that comes from infidelity. A divorce attorney will remain focused on a positive outcome for you. We will help you address all aspects of a divorce. This includes the division of income, real estate, personal property, retirement accounts, investments, other assets and debts.

Infidelity is a difficult topic, especially when you have children. A divorce attorney will help you determine, what if any impact cheating will have on your custody and placement rights. We will walk through this together to address all concerns you have.

A divorce attorney’s job is to make sure that you leave the marriage with your children, your money and your dignity.